mozart and the whale

A really delightful movie – based on a true story – about two people with Aspergers Syndrome trying to negotiate the terrain of love. Sad and funny all at once. The movie reveals that people with autism (Asperger’s is regarded as a form of autism), contrary to popular belief, have deep longings for human connection. If they are alone, it is because they find relationships, even with one another, difficult, and anxiety provoking. The main characters – Donald Morton and Isabelle Sorenson – are “high-functioning” savants. Donald is a genius with numbers; Isabelle’s gifts lie in areas of music and art. They are “quirky” but in a cool, interesting way. What is sad is not that they are “different” but that their emotional deficits nearly prevent their finding love.

I loved the character of Isabelle – her funky style and especially, her unapologetic demeanor. I don’t think she’s “healthy” – the movie makes it clear she’s not – but what is interesting is that she does a better job “fitting in” than Donald, who, despite more pronounced “autistic” symptoms, is psychologically healthier. The reason for that is that she doesn’t try to fit in, and he tries to, desperately. I wonder how much of what we perceive as social awkwardness is a result of hyper-vigilance. Because in my experience, society will accept the people who accept themselves. (Which is why the social planners know we can’t allow that to happen, we’ve got to teach these brilliant kids that there is something wrong with them.)

In the end, Isabelle teaches Donald to relax, enjoy life in his own body, and he teaches her that that love can be safe.

I’m not much of an animal lover and I have to admit the pets – birds, the rabbit, and the lizard – kept me from getting close to the characters. Still, I loved the movie and would recommend it highly.

I have mixed feelings about the Asperger’s diagnosis – as far as I know it didn’t exist before 1994. I don’t know how such a label could serve anyone – particularly at a young age. An adult discovering they have “Asperger’s Syndrome” might appreciate the insight into their personality, the “explanation” for some of the social difficulties they’ve experienced, etc. But ultimately the need for an explanation is rooted in an ability to simply accept, appreciate, difference. Self-acceptance is a huge challenge for all of us, all the more when society tells us there is something wrong with us. When we’re having difficulty making friends, we already know that something is wrong with us. We can, in the right environments, overcome that feeling. But only as long as it’s just a feeling. I think one tragic effect of a diagnosis is the potential it has to seal one’s destiny at a young age by confirming an identity that for the child is in flux.

The other problem I have with the Asperger’s diagnosis is the sheer range of symptoms. It’s basically an umbrella term and I wonder if all those kids aren’t better off simply being given the supports they need to develop self-esteem and to succeed academically without the label.

It is unfortunate that our society has such narrow parameters when it comes to what is “normal” and what is fodder for the DSM. I think it is more important for children who are “different” to be in environments where their differences are appreciated – or quietly ignored as “no big deal.” When we’re evaluating what comes off an assembly line, perhaps it’s the case that difference = defective. But it’s not the case with people, certainly not with children.

The one good thing about Asperger’s is they can’t medicate it – not as far as I’m aware. I’m sure they would if they could – fit those very cool people into boxes.